This is in continuation of the last blog--
It's not a lie at all. Why did I think it was? I'm not lying to myself! It's the truth! He isn't the same person I wish he was! This is good news. Today I felt the awesomeness that is not thinking he was the greatest person alive. Infact, he rather bugged me. I didn't want to talk to him at all.
Isn't this good news?
I'm not obsessed.
BUT-- I fear that things will go back to normal in the next month or so. My mind is so used to his "presence."
All my life I've been easily obsessed with people. I think my writing will show it.

I just wanted you to know.

My spirituality is hard to describe right now. I sin so much, and I catch it everytime. The main things I have troubles in are swearing (the desire to do so, I mean) and saying the Lord's name in vain. I say it all of the time and I hate it. Everytime I do, I mentally kick myself.
Why does saying "Jesus" in vain seem worse than saying "Oh my God"?